By Anthony James PPGJD

Since taking on my new role as Lodge Mentor, I have been giving quite a bit of thought to what mentoring should actually involve. Of course, there is the obvious side of it: helping brethren develop their Masonic knowledge, encouraging the use of Solomon, supporting newer members and helping them understand a little more about the Craft. But I believe mentoring should go further than that. It should also give us an opportunity occasionally to look at ourselves, our Lodge and, importantly, how we support one another.

One particular subject has been mentioned to me on several occasions, by different brethren and in different conversations. It is something I feel is worth bringing into the open because, although the circumstances have varied, the underlying feeling has often been remarkably similar. It concerns appreciation. Not medals, applause or public recognition, but simply the feeling that when somebody puts considerable time, thought and enthusiasm into something intended to make their Lodge better, that effort is noticed, valued and, perhaps most importantly, engaged with.

There is a curious thing that happens in many voluntary organisations, and Freemasonry is certainly not immune from it. The more enthusiastic and reliable somebody becomes, the easier it is to assume they will simply carry on. At first their contribution is noticed. People ask what they are doing, there is interest and encouragement, and perhaps somebody takes the time to say they enjoyed something or found it useful. Gradually, however, that contribution can become part of the scenery. It simply becomes something that happens. The work continues, so we assume everything is fine.

This article is not aimed at any individual, office or particular circumstance. Nor is it intended as criticism of our Lodge. Rather, it comes from conversations I have had and a growing impression that genuine engagement and support can sometimes be difficult to find. There is also an important distinction to make here. The answer is not necessarily, “Let somebody else do it.” Often the person involved does not want somebody else to do it. They may thoroughly enjoy what they are doing, be deeply invested in it and take great pride in what they are trying to achieve.

Someone may have spent hours researching an idea, organising something, creating material or developing something they genuinely believe will make the Lodge better. The work itself is often not the problem. In fact, it may be something they thoroughly enjoy. The problem begins when enthusiasm appears to travel in only one direction. You can spend hours preparing something, send it out or present it, and receive almost no response. Then, when the subject of support arises, everyone is quick to reassure you: “Keep up the good work”, “That’s a great idea”, or “You’re doing a brilliant job.” All pleasant things to hear, but there is a difference between saying something is worthwhile and demonstrating that you believe it is worthwhile.

When there is little interaction with what is being produced, little participation in what is being organised and little genuine interest in an idea succeeding, those words can eventually begin to feel like lip service. I don’t believe that is usually deliberate. Nobody sets out to make another brother feel unappreciated, and often we say encouraging things because we genuinely mean them. But words and actions need to meet somewhere. Otherwise, however well intended the words may be, their value gradually diminishes.

That raises an interesting question for us as Freemasons: what does genuine support actually look like? Perhaps it begins with engagement. If somebody produces something for the Lodge, read it. If somebody introduces an idea, talk about it. If something is organised, show an interest in it. If somebody asks for opinions, give them. If something particularly interested you, tell them what it was and why. If somebody is trying to encourage participation, participate where you can. None of this involves taking over another person’s responsibilities. Quite the opposite. It demonstrates that their work has reached somebody, and that can matter far more than we realise.

There also appears to be a growing concern, not just within Freemasonry but across voluntary organisations generally, that fewer people are willing to become actively involved. That should concern us because a Lodge cannot thrive indefinitely through the enthusiasm of a small number of brethren while everyone else becomes an appreciative audience. Participation does not simply mean holding an office either. Some of the most valuable contributions to Lodge life happen outside formal roles.

One Brother might research an interesting piece of Masonic history, another may encourage a newer member, organise something socially, communicate with absent brethren or create something intended to make meetings more interesting. Someone else may suggest a new idea or simply bring enthusiasm into the room. These things all help create the character of a Lodge. They are often the difference between a Lodge that simply meets and a Lodge that feels alive. But enthusiasm needs oxygen. Without interaction, even the most enthusiastic person can eventually begin wondering whether anybody is actually interested.

There is also a subtle danger in repeatedly reassuring somebody without genuinely engaging with what they are doing. Eventually, people can tell the difference. Most people do not require constant praise, nor are they looking for applause every time they do something. What they occasionally need is evidence that their effort has mattered. There is an enormous difference between hearing, “That was very good,” and somebody saying, “I read that piece you did. I didn’t know that before, and it made me want to find out more.” The second tells somebody their work actually reached you. That is genuine recognition.

From a mentoring perspective, I think this deserves more consideration than we sometimes give it. We encourage brethren to become involved in Freemasonry. We tell newer members that the more they put into Masonry, the more they will receive from it, and I firmly believe that. But if we encourage involvement, surely, we also have a responsibility to nurture that enthusiasm when it appears. Otherwise, enthusiasm can gradually become disappointment, and disappointment rarely announces itself.

People seldom stand up and declare, “I no longer feel appreciated.” Instead, something much quieter happens. They suggest fewer ideas. They stop asking for opinions. They become less enthusiastic. Something that once received several hours of their attention receives one. Eventually, something they once cared passionately about quietly disappears. Only then does somebody ask, “Whatever happened to that?” Perhaps the better question should have been asked six months earlier.

This isn’t about demanding praise, and nobody should contribute to Freemasonry simply because they want recognition. It is about something much more fundamental: belonging. People want to know that their contribution forms part of something shared. They want to feel that the time they willingly give has some value beyond simply completing a task. When somebody becomes invested in an idea, project or aspect of Lodge life, genuine interest from the brethren around them can be one of the strongest encouragements to continue.

Freemasonry speaks beautifully about Brotherly Love, mutual support and meeting upon the level. Those principles become particularly meaningful in the ordinary moments between ceremonies. Sometimes support is nothing more complicated than a conversation, a response, a little enthusiasm, a genuine question, turning up, taking part or showing somebody that what they spent their evening preparing was actually worth preparing. These may seem like small things, but collectively they create a culture in which people feel that their contribution matters.

So, as your new Lodge Mentor, perhaps I can leave you with a small mentoring challenge. Look around our Lodge and consider the brethren who are actively trying to make something better. Don't look only at the obvious contributions. Look for the quieter ones too. Consider the things that happen regularly, the ideas being developed, the information being shared and the enthusiasm being offered.

Then ask yourself: When was the last time I genuinely engaged with something one of them was trying to achieve?

Not merely thanked them or told them they were doing a wonderful job, but actually showed an interest in what they were doing and why they were doing it. Because sometimes the greatest recognition we can give a brother is not applause, and it certainly isn't offering to take away something he enjoys doing. It is showing him that his effort has made a difference, that his enthusiasm has been noticed and that what he is trying to achieve matters to somebody other than himself.

Perhaps that is something we could all become a little better at. Appreciation should never become just words. In a Lodge built upon Brotherly Love, it should be something we can actually feel through the interest, participation and encouragement of the brethren around us.